Review: Jay Park - Joah

Hey everyone, I'm back with my review on Jay Park's Joah and a dilemma, cuz I'm not sure if I want to do Leehi's Rose or G Dragon's Michigo. Both YG, both artsy-weird. Hmmm...I'll let you know.

Music Video
This review was really hard for me to do. I scanned the music video up and down for the usual slip-ups: using different female actresses, Jay wearing the same clothes while his lady love wear different clothes, having different guys go after the same girl (Wait, that can't happen, he's a soloist). And nothing!!! The camera focus was a little off at times, but other than that there were no major fails. Jay did everything right in the video. It was like he was expecting me to write something sarcastic about it.

"Jay-1, EJ-0. Muahahahaha~"

Jay, how could you do this to me? Now there is absolutely nothing to comment about this video whatsoever.

Or is there?

First things first. This is unlike most Kpop video I've watched before. There is very little dancing, there isn't a strong plot in it besides Jay Park going after his girl and it's shot in Seattle!! At least, I think it's Seattle because that's what I read on the internet. Seattle is near Canada right? My geography kinda sucks.

So does my drawing.

Anyway, it kind of blends the two personalities Jay Park has been sporting as a solo artist. As you may know, Jay promotes both English and Korean songs. Also, he has a bit of a split personality when it comes to his music videos. In his Korean music videos, you see him being sweet and maegyo and kissing girls left and right. But in his English music videos, he is totally gangsta, chillin' with his AOM brothers and giving the finger to everyone. Oh, and cursing. A lot. Just check out Appetizer.

Actual lyrics.

So when I saw the background setting, I braced myself internally for the onslaught of cussing that never came. How refreshing. And I mean that in a non-sarcastic way. Jay looked really comfortable and natural doing this video compared to some of his previous videos, probably because it was shot in his hometown and he was with his friends and everything.

But wait! Since the video was shot in Seattle, I'm going to assume that the girl in his video is also from the US. Now I don't want to sound judgmental, but wouldn't it make sense that she can't speak Korean? Omg, that means that Jay has been running after her the whole time, singing love songs to her, even getting his guys to act as his backup, and she doesn't understand a friggin' word he's saying. Remember how she kept shrugging off his arm from her shoulders? It isn't that she is rejecting him, its just that she has no idea what the heck he's trying to do.

You can see how this might get awkward.

Speaking of awkward, why are his friends trailing behind him when he's on a date? Come on, guys. I've heard of people being the third wheel, but they are already forming the sixth wheel. Jay, are they your moral support or something? I thought you were supposed to be a ladies' man. I can assure you, your girlfriend will not be impressed to see four guys lurking behind her, while you sing to her in a language she doesn't even understand.

"Oh, don't mind us. You won't even notice us stalking you guys."

 Song and Lyrics
At first I thought Joah was going to be a girl's name =S. But Joah is actually the romanized spelling of a Korean phrase that means I like you. It is a little less serious of a confession than Sarangheyo, which mean I love you.

The song itself is really light-hearted and the instrumental has a pretty old-fashioned beat. It's kind of like the soundtrack of an eighties' movie, which fits the retro video effect. I also thought the high vocals part was pretty amazing. You have a lot of Kpop guys with very powerful vocals, but very few of them can pull off high notes like that. Actually I'm surprised that Jay is promoted more as a rapper rather than a singer. Not to say he isn't good at rapping, it's just that I've been to one of his showcases last year, where he did the nicest thing ever to me (Maybe I'll tell you guys in detail someday, maybe I won't =P). Anyway, he can definitely sing a lot better than people give him credit for.

Dance

There is not a lot of dancing in this video, just a couple of cool sidesteps, and Jay shows off a wee bit of his break-dancing skills. I also watched his live performances and apart from a smooth leap onto a sofa prop, he doesn't do any note-worthy dance moves. This segment is yet again empty.

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Now let's look at this bunny.

Fashion
I could find nothing wrong with neither Jay's nor his girlfriend's fashion sense. Even though Kpop and awkward hats goes hand in hand, Jay actually has a pretty cool collection of caps. I even took the effort to look at the wording on the hats to see if there were any random funny quotes. And zilch. How disappointing.

He even looks good as a stick figure. Is there no justice?

Review: Psy - Gentleman

You knew it was coming.

Music Video
Before I say anything else about the video, EPIC Candy Crush reference. That was one of the highlights for me in the video.

I'm on level 165. Blekx =P

After studying the video intensively, I have now fully uncovered the deep symbolism behind it: Gentleman is actually a representation of Psy's life after Gangnam Style. In the beginning, the video shows Psy touring various expensive shopping malls with a few lackeys behind him carrying his shopping bags. This symbolizes the wealth Gangnam Style has brought him. Not only can he afford to shop and dine and live at only the classiest of places, he can even afford to buy expensive suits for his servants.

Also, the fame he got from Gangnam Style has turned him into a total ladies' man. You can see him playing all kinds of pranks on women, pulling their bikini strings, tripping them, playing fart jokes on them. And yet, they still tag along after him faithfully, because he is WET PSSYYY!!!! (I just had to put that in)

Pictured: Stud.

But then the horrible reality sinks in. Where does he go from here? Gangnam Style was the single shining light of his career. How will he ever compete with that? He is suffocated by the fans' expectations of him, which is represented by the creepy white thing wrapped around his neck. I think it was topokki. A really weird-looking, worm-like topokki.

 

Pictured: The slimy topokki of reality.

Psy longs to break free from the confines of society's expectations. This is represented by him chewing enthusiastically on the topokki to free himself. So he tries to write new songs that might outshine Gangnam Style. His first few songs fails to impress his audience. Gain is his audience. Her unamused expression symbolizes how much his initial attempts suck.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't stuff these chopsticks up your nose."

On a completely unrelated note, I totally love Gain in this video. Her getting back at Psy by knocking his chair away after he threw his coat in her face along with her ice-cold, unsmiling demeanor throughout the whole video, even when she did the galloping dance moves, were both the most awesome and funniest thing I've seen in the whole video.

Anyway finally Psy has an earth-shattering epiphany. This is represented by the torrents of water cascading down his head. He writes Gentleman. Gentleman becomes the new highlight of his career, represented by the dazzling array of lights in the background as he dances to Gentleman. Gain is finally satisfied and dances along with him. Everyone else is happy and joins them in the dance. And they lived happily ever after. The end.

There should be a Disney song playing right about now.

Song and Lyrics
I think the song is somewhat connected to the music video. I mean, the title is Gentleman and Psy spends about 99.99% of the video proving how much of a gentleman he Isn't. So they are related, I guess? But I can't really break down the song, mainly because I have no idea what the heck is going on.

Dance
If it weren't for Gain's appearance, I don't think I would have recognized the dance as a remake of the Abracadabra hip-swinging dance. Good call by the way, getting Gain to guest in a music video which features one of her group's signature dances. I think Gentleman will go down as the ultimate Abracadabra dance parody and believe me, there have been quite a few parodies in the past.

Some were more traumatizing than most.

Just like Gangnam Style, there is only a few signature moves in the dance. One of them is of course the hip-swinging dance. The other is something I'd like to call the matador-galloping dance. Why? Because it looks like a matador galloping away from the bull. Sans the cape and the bull.

Well, technically they're galloping in a pretty fixed position, but try to imagine one bull charging them on their left and another bull on their right and there you have it. The galloping matador dance.

Fashion
Since Psy is basically wearing the same suit he wore for Gangnam Style, there is very little to talk about in this section. And Gain looks amazing, as expected. However, while there isn't anything wrong with the top half of Psy's body, the bottom half leaves very little to be desired.

Another one of Kpop fashion quirks was the invention of male harem pants. And just like female harem pants, I have often wondered about the purpose of creating such a clothing since they are not only hideous, I'm also pretty sure they don't help at all when you're trying to do a wide-legged, hip-swinging dance.

He's trying not to rip his pants.

Review: Teen Top - Miss Right

So......
Once again I'm reviewing a song that is slightly out of date. But as this song had so much potential, I could not not review it. Also, I'm trying to push out two reviews by this week so please look forward to it.

 

Music Video

Let's start with the good things about the video. Teen Top had really good energy in the video even though parts like the "Lalalala~" and the wolfy-howl kind of makes them sound like rowdy boys. But it's okay, because they are boys, and boys play around. Also in the dance scenes, the transition of colors from light to dark was really well done, so props to the editors.

In the video, Teen Top are students who meets their dream girl when she gets transferred to their class. But woah, this is one seriously messed up school if they have their students dressed in prisoner outfits and sleeping in prison cells. Also why is the floor covered in bedding and fluff?

Are they hamsters or something?

They even taunt the students by leaving the keys outside the cell, just far enough so that they can't reach it. Now that is some serious psychological sh*t right there.

"Every stinking day. Just kill us now."

There was a pretty big hype about L Joe's kiss scene with the female actress in the video. Now, I'm not a big fan so I'm probably being a little dense here, but I don't really see what the big deal is. He landed one on her gas mask, and it only lasted about three seconds. It was so non-scandalous that I didn't even pay attention to it until I read about it online. I mean, Jay Park kissed almost every female extra in almost all of his music videos, which is something that still unnerves me to this day.

But the Jaywalkers didn't exactly lose their minds over it.

Well, maybe just a little.

Anyway, I think the fans were too distracted with the Kiss-That-Missed to notice that the girl was kind of harassed by not just L Joe, but almost all the boys in this video. Lets count it, shall we? So Ms Mini Skirt has just transferred to a new school and feels lonely. So, she tries to be friendly and makes conversation with one of them. But after a while, he starts acting all creepy and stroking her hair. So she dumps him and asks Niel to teach her how to dance. But Niel starts getting fresh with her and twirls her around until he has her pressed against his chest. Seriously though, if any guy tried that on me, I'd sack him where it really hurts.

Lets just say he'd be losing more than just his dignity.

Finally, she's had enough and decides to change and go home. But instead, she sees Chunji in the locker room. He pretends to be blind, just so he can openly watch her change without her realizing it. And that is about the creepiest sentence I've typed so far.

Hang on a minute, that scene makes no sense whatsoever. How can you have classes with him, and not know whether or not he's blind? Also, they seriously need to upgrade their facilities if they're making the boys and girls share bedrooms and locker rooms.

"We share bathrooms too, just FYI."

 No offense, but I'd probably get a transfer again. Really soon.

 Song and Lyrics
I thought that this would probably a tough, aggressive, BAP-styled song, especially with the tense soundtrack in the beginning. So I was kind of taken aback when I heard the song. However it is a good song. It's catchy, the hook is great, and it has Teen Top's signature style written all over it. I didn't really like the song when I first heard it, but it grew on me after a while.

Despite the fact that the music video was shot in a jail cell, the lyrics were surprisingly sweet. It is actually the kind of song that a boy would sing to a girl that he likes. It was a light-hearted song of boy meets girl, boy falls for girl, girl already has a boyfriend, boy is totally devastated. Lol, just kidding. But seriously, those are the lyrics.

Although, there were a couple sentence in the song that stood out, in particular these lines:

Why are you thinking about her even more when it rains? Is it because the rains washes away her makeup so she looks prettier or something? Dude, we have waterproof cosmetics these days. I know I'm nit-picking here, but the lyrics were kind of hilarious.

Also, there was a teeny-tiny mention of underage drinking. NOT that I have a problem with it, its just that I'm kind of surprised they got away with it. In 2PM's Hands Up, they had to change their lyrics because there were also implications of drinking and unlike Teen Top, they were not underage. Maybe Kpop regulations aren't as strict as they used to be, I don't know. Again, I have no problem with it, just bringing up something that I noticed.

Dance
The dance for this song was pretty awesome. Most Kpop idol groups keep to a few strict formations in a dance, moving only when they need to switch formation. And usually all members would have the same dance moves. But for this song, you see the members weaving in and out between each other like it's no thing, dancing different steps, moving in a way that seems totally random but somehow falling into position at the exact right moment. Also, I didn't notice it the first time I watched the video, but at the 2.43 mark, three members danced in reverse with the other three, so it looked like they were a mirror image of each other. That was brilliant.

The head-tilting-shuffle-step in the chorus was awesome. Very Michael-Jackson, and the fact that they could maintain the V-shape while shuffling only enhances its utter awesomeness. The only reason why I like the mirror-dance better is because it also contains the MJ-shuffle. Plus it needs a hat.

A couple of top hats and this would have been perfect.

But still, I need to bring this up: What is with Kpop guys and their crotch-grabbing? Seriously, it's like a new form of lip-rubbing for them these days. I kept my silence when BAP did it for No Mercy, only to see U Kiss doing it in Standing Still and now Teen Top in Miss Right. They aren't even being subtle about it. Kpop fans, you can't seriously think that openly grabbing that area is sexy. I'm a girl and honestly, I find it awkward as hell to watch.

I dare you to shake their hand afterward.

 Fashion
I don't really follow Teen Top's trending fashion. The last time I paid attention to it was during their To You promotions where Leader-shi was pretty much bald, I think. So now that he has hair, I almost didn't recognize him. But it looks good. As for the rest of the rainbow-haired members, I have no complaints besides Chunji. Purple on blonde? Really, Chunji? How did  your hair even survive that intense dye job?

That is a wig.

The members are decked out in prisoner outfits for most of the video, so there isn't really much to talk about. But remember the beginning, where the members were wearing different-colored numbered T-shirts? Maybe it was just me, but they immediately reminded me of something from my childhood.

 

Go Go Power Rangers!!!

Review: Heo Young Saeng - The Art of Seduction

So......
I know this song had been released a month ago. I would have reviewed this song much sooner had I not been assaulted by the deadly combination of exams plus the flu. Also, a shout-out to those who have been kind enough to comment of my blogs. You made my day <3

Music Video
History lesson time!! Okay, some of you probably have never heard of Heo Young Saeng or known that he was once part of a 5-member group called SS501. Sounds familiar? No? No matter, I'm pretty sure you would have heard of at least one member: Kim Hyun Joong.

The guy whose face drives you to spend everything you own on products you don't need.

Kim Hyun Joong was once the leader of SS501 and they were a pretty big deal back in the day. You know Boys Over Flowers, where Hyun Joong starred as the oh-so-dreamy Jihoo sunbae? Well, SS501 sang one of the most memorable song in the whole BOF soundtrack: Because I'm Stupid. Also, they were known as the Flower Boy Group for their pretty-boy good looks. I kid you not.

You can practically see rainbows shooting out of their every orifice.

More information: Did you know that the youngest member of said group, named Kim Hyung Joon (Not to be confused with leader Kim Hyun Joong), had a younger brother who is currently a solo artist but was previously part of an idol group going by the name of Ubiquitous Korean Idol Super Star?

"I've never even heard of U- Oh. F*ck."

Yup, that's right. Former U Kiss member Kim Kibum is the younger brother of former SS501 member Kim Hyung Joon who was once the magnae of the same group as Heo Young Saeng. And now I'm tempted to run around singing "It's a Small World After All.".

I was a seriously huge fan of SS501 back in those days. And they were also a huge part of why I grew to like U Kiss. Sadly, SS501 disbanded in 2010 (Sobz!!!). Nevertheless, they hold a special place in my heart as the group who introduced me to and made me love Kpop~ <3 That's why I really wanted to write this review as a sort of tribute to who they were and who they've become. And of course to make fun of them with witty and pointless banter.

This is me we're talking about, after all. 

 I thought the plot of the video was really interesting and definitely not something you see very often. The video starts off with this geeky, blonde girl gawking at the television and squealing when Young Saeng appears on screen. You know, just your everyday, crazy, obsessed fangirl. Speaking of which, Kpop seems to have varying standards on what is considered creepy fan behavior and what isn't. For whatever reason, this is creepy:

"I didn't realize bed hair and stripped socks were such a crime these days."

But this isn't.

"The scalp and hair? That isn't clay."

I mean, sure she has sketches and photographs scattered all over the room, but come on, who doesn't keep a couple of posters of their favorite artists? Even I have a celebrity folder which I use for my desktop background. We are in the twenty-first century after all. We tend to keep our stuff in a computer. This girl however, not only does not have a computer to speak of, her TV is actually made up of a couple of puny twenty-inch screens all piled over each other.

"Technology makes me itch."

Either she has some kind of severe techno-phobia or she seriously needs to get out more often. I personally think it's because she's an alien.

No no, hear me out. Okay, so one morning she wakes up and she immediately sees the guy of her dreams sitting at a corner staring at her. Overcome by joy, she continues to live with him without ever questioning the sudden appearance of a celebrity in her living room. But then the awful, awful reality is slowly revealed. The girl is in fact Miss Crazy who kidnapped Young Saeng and is living in this twisted, schizophrenic dream world with him. She taunts him, force feeds him, and strings him up in the closet. Because having a guy lurking in your closet, even in your mind, is totally every girl's dream come true.

But wait, something is not right. Judging by the video, Young Saeng is at least a full head taller than her and twice her size. So how exactly did she kidnap him? I seriously doubt he would have gone without a fight. So that leaves only one explanation: That girl is an alien with superhuman strength which she used to kidnap Young Saeng and then drag him all over her apartment to fulfill her perverse fantasies. Notice the custom glow-in-the-dark rope that she used to tie Young Saeng up? Yeah, I bet she got that from her home planet as a tool to subdue us puny humans.

It says 'Made in Krypton' if you squint.

That would also explain her antique-themed home. Since she arrived on Earth, she has been staying cooped up in that tiny room for goodness-knows how long. So her knowledge on human culture and our technology would be limited to none. That's why all the appliances in the house are a couple of decades out of date.

Hmmm, if my brilliant deduction were true, this video would be less about the arts of seduction and more Close Encounters of The Third Kind.

Song and Lyrics
This song has a kind of 80s-Disco, trottty feel to it. I wouldn't say this is my favorite song of all time. For me, it was just okay. But Young Saeng is almost exclusively a ballad singer, so this song is a break away from his usual style. Even the music video featured a complete 180 degrees transformation of him. Even in SS501, their music videos almost always had a serious theme with dark colors and the members staring pensively at the camera. This video however, is full of bright and vibrant colors, and Young Saeng was grinning from ear to ear from start to finish. So I like that it was such a huge change of pace from his previous songs.

The title of the song in relation to the lyrics were kind of confusing. In the beginning, I thought this song was going to be about the arts of seduction. Maybe it was going to be some sort of guideline on how to seduce a girl.

But the lyrics suggested a much darker meaning. Even though it is sung by Young Saeng, I thought it reflected more towards the thoughts and feelings of Miss Crazy from the video, especially with lines like "I'll trap you alone in my heart" or "It's your fault for being pretty". If it didn't happen to be a hot Kpop idol singing it on TV, tell me you wouldn't run screaming for the exit.

Dance 
You know it and I know it, the dance for this song was just really awkward. Seriously, I expected much better from Heo Young Saeng. Maybe the choreographer did it intentionally though, to fit the oldies vibe of the song, because there were a lot of moves that I would not have expected to see anywhere else besides an 80s-Disco night.

 There were some parts I liked about the dance though. There were some pretty fancy footwork in the dance, like in the chorus at 2.08. And I liked the slicking back of his hair during the chorus, even though it was kind of disco-boogie. Also in the live performances, there was a part where Young Saeng and his backups line up and form this ticking-clock motion with their hands. I thought that part was really cool.

It could be the fact that they are 2nd generation idols and they're old (I'm kidding. But seriously), but I notice that most SS501 members seem to be really into old-fashioned dance moves. If I recall correctly, Kim Hyun Joong did something similar for Lucky Guy.

"Aye girl, lets boogie!!!"

Not exactly what I would call cool. But I don't know, it's disco after all. Maybe it was the in thing during their time (It wasn't). By the way, I noticed that both music videos featured a police lineup in the end and both members smiling creepily at the camera. Forever as one indeed, in every sense of the word.

Fashion
I mentioned this just now, that Young Saeng has really switched it up in this video by wearing really brightly colored outfits. He's like an older version of Shinee, only without his clothes being mismatched. And although the bright ginger color of his hair would offend me at any other time, I thought it actually kind of suits Young Saeng especially with the concept he's going for, so I'm not going to say anything about it. But still, I'm hoping he'll dye it back after this.

Review: Leehi - It's Over

Hi!!! I apologize for the long absence, but I had good reason. Exams plus illness can be a deadly combination, let me tell you. But anyway, now I'm back with Leehi's It's Over.

Music Video
Before I go into the details of this video, I want to say two things: Number one, I want those stuffed toys. Number two, that is some funky-looking toilet paper.

Matches the funky-looking toilet.

This isn't really a typical YG music video because instead of their usual studs and leather and weird hairdos, you have this little girl's fantasy of pastel colors and stuffed toys and candies. But even though it had all the potential in the world to be an aegyo video, it wasn't one. Leehi has a natural innocence about her which is very sweet, but I can't really see her doing aegyo. Even amidst the sweets and cookies and fluff, Leehi still acted with sass and attitude. Good, because if I ever saw her trying to pull off a bashful, I-Got-A-Boy kind of aegyo, I think I might pass out.

There is a very strong theme in the video about the innocence of children and their imaginations. In the beginning when Leehi is sleeping, you see a few toys and a whole bunch of junk food scattered across the floor. Later when she starts to sing, those same toys come alive and start dancing with her. You know how children pretend that their toys would come to life and play with them? I think the directors were going for that effect in the video, but for some reason, the bear she was hugging turns into this huge, scowling, bandana-wearing, awkwardly dancing Teddy monstrosity. The first time I saw it, I was so sure I seen it somewhere before. I racked my brain for about five minutes or so, then I remembered.

animevice.com

 "He's my third cousin twice removed from my grandmother's side."

Okay, maybe I didn't remember it quite that accurately, especially since the Alice Academy bear was also an axe-swinging, murderous maniac, but you have to admit they are somewhat similar, from their giant fluffy heads to that waddling body to the perpetually unamused expressions on their face.

"Lack of humor runs in the family. Now buzz off."

Now is it just me, or does Leehi and her teddy bear have a seriously violent relationship? In the video, you see her punching it, kicking it, squashing it with a bowling ball......I almost feel sorry for it. Since this song is about a girl breaking up with her boyfriend, it kind of looks like Leehi is taking out her frustration over her ex on her stuffed toys.

And while Leehi has gotten much better at acting since her debut, she still needs a lot of work on her facial expressions. When a bear whose face is frozen into an eternally surly expression is capable of showing more emotions than you, then you know you're in trouble. Having said that, I totally loved her expression of pure evilness when she shot the bear up with a rocket. For all her innocent charm, Leehi definitely has the potential for evil master villainy.

Pictured: The face of a sadist.

Song and Lyrics
I didn't like this song as much as her debut song. 1, 2, 3, 4 had a sassy, Amy-Winehouse-esque feel to it while this song was much more bluesy and laid-back. But that doesn't mean that it wasn't still a good song. Even though it was a break-up song, with Leehi being only 16 or 17 this year, this song could have easily been a weepy, melancholy piece about a girl trying to move on from her first love. But instead, you get this jazzy, confident number about a girl telling the guy to get out if he isn't going to treat her right. So it sends the right message, especially for girls who are Leehi's age, that you don't need a guy who is going to treat you like crap.

Dance
There is very little dancing in the video except for the chorus where she does this wooden tap-dance-robot-arm movement. Seriously, it was really awkward dancing. It could have been Leehi's problem; the girl has an insanely good voice, but she can't really dance. Or it could have been the choreographer's problem for creating dance steps that make her look like a puppet on strings while being controlled by someone from the background.

This imagery is appropriate.

Also, I checked out the live performances for good measure. How is it fair that the backup dancers get props, which happened to be umbrellas, but Leehi doesn't? If it wasn't for the fact that she was front and center, she probably wouldn't stand out from the backup dancers at all. Also the bear is super distracting. You know how BAP never lets their bunny mascot dance alongside them on stage? Yeah, there's a reason for that.

Fashion
YG has a reputation of dressing their underage artists as conservatively as possible, as you can clearly see in Leehi's quite modest clothing. But I really like her hair accessories in the video, especially the mouse-eared cap. I didn't even mind the pile of soft toys she wore on her head as a hairband.

While there isn't much to talk about Leehi's outfits, that bear on the other hand is another matter. Even his clothes are more attention-grabbing than Leehi's, as he alternates between a "I Love Hi" shirt and punk gangster outfits and are those......dreadlocks?

"'Sup yo?"

Leather, studs and dreadlocks. On a teddy bear. I guess this is a YG video after all.